Relational Action Inquiry as the Trump Talk: Crossing the Gender Rubicon in the USA election

stock-photo-business-team-drawing-a-new-complex-project-215549044We’ve arrived at the river. The riverbank of the of the Gender Rubicon.  The Rubicon is the US election tomorrow and, more importantly, civilizations’s decision about the role of patriarchy in the 21st Century.  We get to choose between a bully who brags about grabbing pussy and throwing out the foreigners — his self description on my election ballot reads proudly “no government experience, business man and golf course developer.” And then there is Hillary, former Secretary of State, a popular Senator for New York, a First Lady, a lawyer, etc.  So I was intrigued, on my way home from the airport, that my cab driver says it’s such a difficult decision that he may not vote. Hmmm. So difficult- huh?!  Golf course developer versus Secretary of State.  Yep, that’s a tough one.  But I relax thinking, well a) even without your vote, she wins. The exciting question is how big will the win be (touch wood!). And b) the cultural transition point has already tipped and we have crossed the proverbial Rubicon. My daughter just showed me a funny video but warned me that it was quite “hurtful” about “the Trump.” She is sweet to worry about hurting a bully. Sweeter than me, obviously. We watched it, I laughed (guffawed) and then it was time to offer her “The Trump Talk.”  This is a term suggested by Dan Savage for the conversation mothers need to have with our daughters about not apologizing when a creepy bully tries to touch without consent. And I started by pointing out that everything in the video was his own words! If it makes him sound like a buffoon, well it’s because he is one. This is what, in Golf is called, self handicapping. Our Trump talk promoted clarity and practice (e.g., “um, please don’t touch me”). It puts responsibility to consider the sanctity of women’s bodies on the shoulders of those who would endanger us.  It’s been a simple talk to give.  I wish I had heard these simple words when I was young. I wish I not wondered for so long if I had done something wrong to be touched by creepy guys.  I have not been alone. So many centuries women have spent asking “did I do something wrong?” Or joined men in wondering, what was she wearing that encouraged his bad behavior. (Like we would wonder that if someone was robbed).  Now it’s almost over.  With the Trump talk we cross the Rubicon from domination to partnership. In ancient Rome, crossing the Rubicon (a river in Northern Italy ;),meant you had to disarm. In a partnership world we also now must disarm. In that spirit I can understand my cab drivers hesitation. We are taking a leap into post patriarchy.  Men will also get to refuse to go to war! Women will get to refuse to have babies they don’t want! (traditionally these were equally terrifying undertakings). We will upgrade human culture to meet our needs.  That is assuming the election goes well…

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